if only you could hear the troubles of my mind, you would understand. it’s not that I don’t love you, but I’m scared. it’s not that I’m not attracted to you, but I fear I’m not attractive to you anymore. i know I’ve been too focused on all my responsibilities, too worried about this, too anxious about that. and I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I am all over the place. my brain is trying to convince me that this is the wrong thing, that everything will come crumbling down in the future. I’m scared, yes. and I’m hesitant. but this doesn’t mean I won’t keep my promises -this place has become way too much of a shithole for me to take it anymore. I will change, yes, and I will prove to everyone that I can do it. I will prove it to you. but most importantly I will prove it to myself. no matter how slow… but, how great have the past 5 years 6 months been? perhaps not that much in the beginning… but I know what’s yet to come is greater than what’s left behind.
my love, to you, will only become greater too.